Echoes of Pain

I think that some of the most brilliant writing I’ve ever read wasn’t really written at all… it was what was left unsaid.  It is those 4 nearly blank pages entitled… October… November … December … January.  Each time I get to those pages, even though I know they are coming, I cry.  They tear out my heart because I know that kind of pain.  The kind of pain that rips out pieces of your life and you know that no matter what, you will never be the same.  You lose not only time but parts of you.  It takes you from a “were” state, to an “are” state and those two never cross paths.  No matter how much you long to go back to the kind of person who doesn’t truly know what pain is, you can’t.  And somehow, those 4 blank pages scream out of that precise kind of pain.    

But not only does New Moon have that particular heartfelt portion, it also has some truly awesome quotes and passages that I love.  So I thought I’d just share some of my favorites:

“… the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time 

now.  The trade-off was never-ending numbness.  Between 

pain and nothing, I’d choose nothing.”

     “As much as I struggled not the think of him, I did not 

struggle to forget.  I worried—late in the night… that it was 

all slipping away.  That my mind was a sieve, and I would

someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, 

the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice.  I could 

not think of them, but I must remember them.

     Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be 

able to live—I had to know that he existed.  That was all.  

Everything else I could endure.  So long as he existed….

     Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard 

line to walk.”

“It didn’t feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather 

that I’d grown strong enough to bear it.”

“One thing I truly knew—knew it in the pit of my stomach, 

in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head 

to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest—was 

how love gave someone the power to break you.”

There are honestly many other highlighted passages in my copy of New Moon, but these are the ones that speak to my heart.  They echo the pain I have felt.  And that, more than anything, is what resonates within me in this or any other book.